Offended

"Sticks and stones can break my bones but words will never hurt me!"  I grew up in a mentally tough family.  We didn't sweat the small stuff and when you were hurt you sucked it up and moved on.  There wasn't time or room for wallowing in your self pity.  But that didn't change the fact that my feelings got hurt a lot by words.

My little brother and I were "wordsmiths" from a very young age.  We barely had t.v. (my mom cut the cord off at one point) and there was no such thing as the internet or devices to even hold information.  We lived on a dairy in very rural Idaho.  We didn't have neighbors to play with, and even if we did we had a lot to do so there wasn't much time for that.  We had books.  Like dictionaries, encyclopedias, and yes, the phone book.  So our fun was derived from looking up words in the dictionary or looking up funny things in the phone book or people we knew.  Every word that we weren't allowed to say we looked up in the dictionary and used the alternate meanings just to see if we could get away with it.  One summer a travelling salesman came through with encyclopedias.  My mom bought them.  We knew it was an expense that probably stung a bit so we treated them like gold.  With the encyclopedias came a two book set of encyclopedia books of mammals.  One of the second words was Ass with pictures of angelic little donkeys.  We laughed and laughed and integrated the word into our daily vocabulary showing our mom the picture to get out of trouble for calling each other an ass.  We were just calling each other a little donkey.  One of our favorite programs on T.V. was the Flintstones cartoon.  The song has a line that says "we'll have a gay ol' time" this is the meaning we gave to gay...happy.  So that's how we used the word.  Not to degrade people who choose to have same sex relationships.

In school my favorite thing was vocabulary.  Something excited me greatly about learning new words, and using new words in place of more common ones.  People would stop and think about what you were saying more if you were talking about the top of something and instead you said at the pinnacle.  There's just a ring to it, a magic.  When I would find out that someone would be offended by a word i would somehow try to change the meaning of it, and use it a bunch to desensitize them.  There is so much power to give back to yourself when you can literally change the meaning of a word.  As a mom, my kids have come up with questions and feelings about words.  One time my youngest came home and said that she was told calling someone weird was mean.  So we looked up weird.  It means uncanny.  So we began to say uncanny for every time we would have said weird.  Nobody, that we have met yet, is offended by being called uncanny by a seven year old.  She also got to realize that there is no power in a word unless YOU give it power.  On a side note, in our family weird is a compliment, it means, original, special, strong, and courageous.  

In my line of work and in my life I am surrounded by people of many different generations.  If you speak to people of different generations about offensive words they will be very different!  Words that used to be okay, are now offensive.  Words that used to be offensive are now commonplace.  The fact is that the only power a word has is the power that you yourself give it.  If there is not a word that can offend you then you cannot be offended by words.  If you do get offended by a word, it is your problem and yours alone.  This sounds harsh but it is how it is.  Consider it , what if someone calls you a bitch, can it offend you if you refuse to let it?  Can it offend you if the meaning of bitch to you is a female dog?  Can you ever truly know what the intention was from the other person?  NO  You can never know exactly what someone else thinks a bitch is so how can I be offended by it?  

The clearest form of communication is thought.  When you communicate to your higher self, to your ascended masters, your guides, angels, there is no mistake, no offense because a thought is clear, it's clarity.  If we could communicate with each other through thought there would never be a mistake, we would know exactly the motive behind the word.  But we can't do this at this point.  If you want to give a word power, give it the power of love.  To be offended by what you assume someone means by a word is absolutely insane.   Stop being offended by the unknown and start putting your own meanings to words that you like.  If someone says the "f" bomb in front of your child explain to them what it means and that many people have given offensive power to this word, that is all.  Not DO NOT SAY this because it's offensive.  Because what do kids do when you give power to taboo things?  They try it out, they want the power, they want to see what it feels like.  Take away the power.  I get it, we are all trying to be nice and not hurt other peoples feelings, well then, have the intention to only give out love and light.  If your intention is in love your words will follow. Some of the most loving, kind, and beautiful people I have ever met have the most colorful vocabulary.  I love new words but even more so I love new meanings to old words.  I don't want to be careful to not hurt someones feeling with Merry Christmas or talking about funny shit!  They are words people, in another language they mean absolutely nothing.  Take back you power over your own happiness.  Choose to only see the good, choose to be happy, choose to not be offended, choose love.

Love and light

Mama Vietti

Cecily Vietti