"Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is, rather than as you think it should be." Wayne Dryer. For two months now I've been dabbling with manifesting. I've read books, articles and blogs on manifesting. I filled out a couple of workbooks on manifesting. I began a manifestation ritual and I made a crystal grid solely for the purpose of manifesting.
The first couple of weeks that I decided to dedicate some real brain power to manifesting I decided to manifest money (how cliche right?) What was hard was realizing the constraints of the brain. We are taught that you don't get things without effort. I had an extremely difficult time realizing that whatever I put my focus on could come, in any form, with or without effort. It was Christmas time and I wanted to give each of my children $100 so I decided to manifest $300. I Imagined how it would be to give them the money, I imagined how I would feel, I focused on it every morning. Three days before Christmas my husband called me and excitedly told me that his work had given him a $300 gift card that he won in a Christmas drawing. I was definitely astounded! I was a believer.
At this point I felt that I had a handle on it. Things that I wanted and previously thought were impossible began to come to mind. I had a list of about ten things that I wanted to manifest. I wanted money, and then specific things that I wanted to do with the money, I wanted success, I wanted to learn more, and the list just kept growing. I would sit and attempt to imagine myself with all of these things and I could feel that my energy was being pulled in too many different ways. I did manifest a little of each thing but it wasn't the absolute immediate way that I had done with the Christmas money.
Why did I want these things? Did I really? What was the feeling I was imagining when I had them? Then I realized what I truly wanted was to be filled with joy and at peace. This was a huge aha moment. If I could be at peace with ANYTHING then it wouldn't matter what course life took. My joy and peace was what the underlying desire truly was. Every morning i focused on my joy, pictured my day filled with Joy, and all of my decisions filling me with peace. I charged my crystal grid with Joy and Peace. It was difficult to measure my success at first. But then something happened. A soul that I cherished decided to go home. My grandma died. The ultimate test. I was filled with sadness, selfish sadness. But oddly at the same exact time I still had Joy, I felt peaceful. I could see that this was not the end of joy. I've had sadness before. I've always numbed it with alcohol, shopping, food, or I just completely let it consume me. I would wallow and focus on the sadness, weeks would go by and I would refuse to accept any joy. This was different. I moved quickly into gratitude. I was grateful that I had all of that time with her, I was grateful for her tremendous life, I was grateful for the end of her suffering. I was grateful for the outpouring of love that was showered on my family. I just couldn't help but smile when I thought of her. I wasn't worried that I was not going to be able to go on like I had always imagined that I would feel. I was at Peace.
Was the joy and peace always there and just now I was able to see it? Did I create it? Is it in me? I don't know the answers yet and honestly it doesn't matter to me because it feels so good. It feels even better than I had imagined in mediation and it feels so good that I will never choose a different outlook on life. John Lennon said "Peace is not something you wish for; it's something you make, something you do, something you are and something you give away." So the key is to begin to see the peace, to imagine yourself with it, to give it to others, to practice peace, and to make it. To be it. I manifested peace and joy and so can you.
Love and Light