Releasing fear

 No!!  Don't go!  Don't grow up!  Don't die!  Don't move forward.  Don't change.  

We are ever changing beings.  With every breath we are different.  Change, change,  change.  Every single thing is changing.  My body is always changing.  My children are constantly changing.  The people around me change.  The landscape changes.  Where I remember wide open spaces and empty fields are houses and yards.  My mind changes.  Why do I fight it?  Why am I constantly pissed off that things changed?  I guess I liked it the way it was or I mostly like the thought that it would always be there for me.  Or maybe it was just comforting to know something....for sure.  Like, okay this is fry sauce, I know what fry sauce is.  I like it.   then its' slightly different and I'm destroyed.  "Wait a minute, what did you do with my damn fry sauce?  This is not how it used to be!  This isn't fry sauce."  That was a mirage that I created in my brain.  Nothing is changeless.  Nothing is for sure.

Constantly fighting the inevitable is making sure of disappointment and unhappiness.  How can we go with the flow and not only expect change but learn to love change?  The realization needs to be that the only control I exert in this universe is the control over my own thoughts.  Only my thoughts can cause me pain.  My likes and dislikes, they aren't pre-made.  I wasn't made to like a certain kind of fry sauce.  I just decided on that day that I loved that fry sauce.  Maybe it was who I was with and how I felt about them, maybe it was the atmosphere of the restaurant that day.  My mind on that day was full of love and acceptance.  I chose to love that fry sauce.  I can choose to love a slightly different fry sauce on a different day, or I can be mad that no fry sauce will ever be the same as that one.  Life ruined over lack of that one fry sauce. I know, it would be silly to feel that way about fry sauce.  But in all honesty, for your life to be ruined over any one circumstance would still be silly.  It will never be that way again, nothing is the sameWhether you have deemed an experience good or bad, guess what?  It will never be that same way again.

 If we can, for a moment, imagine the earth as one whole entity.  Picture it and everything on it as if you are looking at it from outer space and you can see it breathing in and out.  If you watch it long enough you will see it changing second by second.  There are minute differences.  Week by week there are larger differences and year by year even larger.  Can we change that fact?  No.  So really there is no sense in allowing ourselves to feel fear over something that is out of our hands.  Hope, love and forgiveness?  Yes.  If I get to choose how I feel about an ever changing life, I'm going to choose hope, love and forgiveness.  Duh, right?  If I get to choose the feelings I have, why would I choose fear, anger, and resentment?  I wouldn't.

Sit with the fact that our bodies will age, our children will grow and leave, our parents will leave this existence, and our favorite restaurant will eventually close.  It's going to happen.  Can we find the silver lining?  Every time something big is about to change in my life I get all riled up.  It's the unknown that gets me!  I know I like how it is now and what if I don't like the next step as much?  The main question should be will I choose love every second of every day or will i choose fear?  It feels SO good to not fear.  Release yourself of the thoughts of loved ones getting in a car wreck, do you have control over that?  So why would you think about it?  Release yourself of the fear of losing someones love.  Release yourself of looking OLD, release yourself of loss.  What you love right now?  Love it all the way.  Love it hard.  Eat that fry sauce like you will never have it again, savor every drop, scoop out the last of it with your finger because all you have is now.  When your college girl leaves to go back to college hold her tightly, smell her smell, feel her warmth, see her smile.  Not because you may lose her but because you have her, right here, right now.  And be sure to know that the next time you see her, she will be different.  And then that time you will hug her tightly, smell her new smell, and study her new smile.  This is the life without fear.  To feel every raindrop as if it were the first and last time, because it is.  It will never be the same again.  And neither will you.  The next time you are visiting with a friend notice the air, the sun, the exchange of love, let it feel like the first time and the last, because it is.  Every morning when you wake up next to your special someone be sure to realize that tomorrow morning you will both be new.  So for right now, right here, be filled with only love.  Do not let the fear of the future rob you of this beautiful, perfect moment.  That is what we do when we focus on tomorrow, we leave the beauty of the here and now. And by the way, tomorrow is not real.  It is not promised.  It has infinite possibilities, that you could never know.  It is not for you to know.  All that you can know is this, here, now.

Fill you moments with hope, love, and forgiveness.

Love and light

Mama Vietti

Cecily Vietti